Yeah, Ive had a pretty fuckin crazy weekend. And not been home very much, so tomo ill get back with some photo evidence and stories about my love for women.

I was on my way in to the supermarket smoking my rollie, took my last drag and butted it out by the entrance (ok, not THE coolest thing to do but anywho) this big fat biker dude in his fifties disliked this to the max and decided to get back at me. He ran up just behind me and delivered two forced really loud burpes straight in my ear. Eeeeehhhhh?

Fortunately for me, I am mrs Burpie. Missis-burp-alot. So I didn’t REALLY mind. I thank my dear friend Eursula for this open way of living and deliviring. She taught me the ways of never being embarrassed of a little gas, its just a little gas. Just a little burpie!

Ps. I have also, for unkown reasons, started to say ‘bless you’ when someone burps.

GOOD

• Getting tickets to Parklife, so fucking excited! I am loving the line-up and I haven’t been to a festival for way too long. I am viking, its in my nature!
• This week! Nice weather, game night at Tuesday, tattoo consultation + party hard with the work peeps on Thursday & big drum n bass gig on Saturday!
• Transformers 2 at the cinema!

BAAD

• When Im feeling a mad need to pee, really make an effort to get to a bathroom and then.. theres just a teeny weeny bit of pee. So disappointed in myself at thoose moments.
• People who live to whine! There’s a lot to hate in this world, but pick your fucking battles. No one likes a party pooper.
• The fact that I cant think of another bad thing at the moment. (Probably ’cause im whinging about whiners and dont wanna appeart to be one even though I to a certain scale am)

*Mobile phone camera art*

Stus house!

*Ass, gas or grass. No one rides for free*

*Supplier of ass*

Picked up some food at Bento-Bento. Were real regulars there. Even choose the same dish every time; Teriyaki Tofu mmmmm.

Then Stuart went to his job and I to mine.

Then I came around near close to wait for my man and had a lemon lime and bitters with vodka. Mm.

Click this! Your in for a treat.

Okay, world. Hold your breath.
I have bought a pair of heels. Yes, ya heard me. They’re hidden heels of course, when I wear them I think; ninja chick.

*Showing off my new and only pair of shoes with heels*

You see, I’ve never been much of a lady. This is much like a break through really.
To show my point Ill take you on a stroll down memory lane. This is me, anno 2006.

Me and my partner-in-crime Filippa. We were under-aged and cooler than everybody. We liked band t-shirts, male under pants, short hair, beer belly’s, nights in with smokes, gore and our special mozzarella sandwiches. Life was beautiful.

Then two years later me and this crazy woman shaved my head. Sometimes I looked like her girlfriend. Mostly like her boyfriend. So I thought.. maybe I should give this skirt thing a try.

I started working on bringing out my feminine side. I looked absolutely lesbian, but pretty hot without a top and/or with skirt. And just look at me now! Proud owner of a few dresses, long blond hair, lingerie for women and so on.. High five!

..During the making of this amazingly interesting and self-absorbed post I had too look through some old material and found this:

This year; Morpheus also comes in white. Hehehe.

Haha, I LOVE it when she looks like this wise old Asian man. HARROE HUMANZ!

Before I went off to work Radar had a little nap on my lap. Rockin paws, pussy <3

During a little ciggi-break on the street, this possum really wanted to kick it with us. Kind of invading our privacy, really really close. But he is a cute mother fucker so I forgave him and took some shots. He was posing fo sho. Chapel st, ey?

Not a single one of us knew that there was a picture taken, nooo waaaayyyy???

A friend from work, Marc, is leaving us. To send him off there were ofcourse drinks.
This is what happened before that.
When Ive got more time ill get onto the report regarding the drinks as well.

Got some new ink. Its kinda like a gang tattoo, only a selected few have these bad boys.

Luke, Lauren, me & Leo had dinner and then saw Year One. Toilet humour. Jack Black is soo 2001. Michael Cera is what he always is, but its still kinda just a little funny. Then we went to visit our fellow workers at Gold Class!

Took some sneaky pictures. So yup, this is my workplace!

Ze bar and you can see our outfits!

This is Karl. (He is one of my managers) Seriously interesting man.

His house mate made him this beautiful creation, which he used as a buckle belt. Inbred.

Hihihi eeeeeeh

Glad midommar mina svennar! Today is midsummer in Sweden. Probably one of my favourite holidays. Its pretty much all about getting drunk.

What we do is meet up with family and/or friends, dance hand in hand, frog dances n shit, around this massive pole that looks like and upside down fallos covered in flowers and grass that you build together. Then we have a massive and looong lunch where you drink shots of snaps, a pretty disgusting and strong spirit that the grown ups always seem to love. We have a lot of drinking songs and as soon as someone starts one, everyone has to join in and in the end; take the shot.

And after lunch; everyone’s wasted, so high time for play time. One year my mom got surprise-married to her man and my brother drove down the car to the house so we could listen to some tunes and we all danced.
Last year we played baseball. Everyone got really competitive. And really, really worn out. Im really terrible at it. The year before that i swung the bat in my mouth and ran when i wasnt suppose to and then I pretty much got kicked out of team. Haha.

Daniel makin one of the balls for the fallos i mean maypole

A rather small one, but its all about how u use it, right?

Haha, our little game. We were not exactly athletes.

Important to maintain tipsy at all times.

Magic is considered to be strong at this day of the year, thats why women pick bouquets which the lay under their pillow and then they shall dream of the man they will marry.

And it always rains at one point or another during the day. Aw, Sweden <3

Looking good but feeling saaaad *in joke*

It is today five months ago since me and Stuart sat on Punt Road at seven in the morning and shared our first kiss.

Then we laid in the grass another morning and looked at the clouds. They were some niiice clouds.

And now I’m his bitch! And he’s my man.
Not my bitch, cus I’m not allowed to call him that ;(

Thank you, Sony Ericsson for capturing these moments of luuv.

After partying/working (not necessarily in that order) aaaall night me and Stue had a four hour nap, got up, packed hour bags, rented movies and got our asses on the road. Headin to their vacation house in a little town called Loch Sport for a vacation filled with food, red vine, smokes, many movies and one walk.

Saw heaps of kangaroos behind the house. Honestly, the cutest animals.
But there pretty big fuckers, and heavy! When the jumped away the ground was vibrating. Kuuuuuuuuul.

It was like 60 people living in this town. We mainly saw other humans on the day we did our shopping here!

The house had some really old school stuff. Like this heater! Love it!

We couldnt get the hot water on in our house. So no shower. We hadnt had a shower in four days when Stue got the this hot water running in another house. Best shower of my life. At least top 5. Ive had a few good showers.

I made a red wine/tomato soup with vegies and cheese. Served with sweet as garlic bread and wine. Seriously good-tasting. Wanna have it in ma mouth nooow.

Stuart with coffee, ciggie and a little read in the late morning.

On our way to the shower. I felt like a hobo. I looked like one to.

Our amazing walk! Look at that tree. Nature goes Star trek!

I was like YEAH!! LETS DO THIIIIIIS!! but then I was like puh, dis is haaaaard I need a break.

We cuddled.

And ate! We ate heaps!

So Vinny brought the guys from Homebrew Crew (NZ) to Melbourne over the long weekend. On thurs, we had a few (alooota) drinks at my place followed by a stop at the Bottle-O for some intense slab and whisky bottle consumation on the streets.

Boys will be boys.

Saturday (more like Sunday morning) we had a party at the Richmond house. Taryn looks good even in a mustache.

Haz, Loi and Vinny stationed in the couch, did they ever leave that spot?

Did some serious boogieng. Tom, Homebrew´s MC and I loved those dices. We seemed to think they were awesome dancing accessories. Im pretty sure they were..

Snoop Dog here had a little crushie on me. Its because I look like a stupid blonde, hihihihi! *Put a spell on them ho´s*

Haha, I thought id get rid of some of the yellow tones in my hair, so I went and bought ash blonde hair dye. With that said, I present to you my new look; Old lady with baby face!

Voila!

Yeah, changed back to a more blog friendly theme. This means you can comment again, yey!

Everyone needs to keep their fingers crossed on tuesday, ok?

Toast to you, mama, on your birthday. Miss you.

Ps, should def cut my hair like that. Pretty soon.

Hey world wide web. Ive been on a bender followed by a vacation. Check in soon for more in fo sho.

So Johanna, my housemate, Swedish partner in crime and good friend is heading back to the land of beautiful viking women, big beers & polar bears.. Sverige. To honour her last Saturday in this beloved city, we did what we do best.

And would you look at that? Sandras back for a pit stop in Melbourne before she too heads back to the land of beers and bears.


Started out at Carlton Hotel, loves it.

Went to skanky trashy place in our neighbourhood for a gig we missed. Heather showed me how its done..


Last stop; mad ware house party where we did some drunken dance to tunes.

High time for cab and falafel roll.