Im nervous about the fullness that will strik the stomach of mine tomorrow. Seriously, except vegetarian sausage baby to be born soon.

Aaaah, after korean vampire flick and about as much food as you normally eat in one week, Theresia has left the building. Time for some jumps and situps.

And oh, I am seeing afro warrior Benga tonight @ Göta Källare! YAY! Gonna purchase ticks for De La Soul with Guilty Simpson aswell, same place in December. Me and Stuart are going on a date :)

Thinkin both me and Pat will be thinking of our lover Oz tonight..

SAP!? AS USUAL, I am troubled by insomnia *sigh* The stress of being restless! I went to bed early cus I had to get up about 7 hours earlier than any other day. Think I deserve a round of applause for my accomplishment!

The adventure started after my three hour nap. I skulled some coffee and went to the doctors. 10 minutes, 500 SEK and a pleasing verdict later my visit was over! 8:15. What to do I asked myself? Up and out of the safety of the bird nest, might as well make something of this grey day.. A bird wispered in my ear; shopping! I travelled around for about an hour, shopping mall and into the city, til what I already knew finally sank in.. nothing opens til 10.. No one is awake. So I went back home.

So here I am, bored to the bone, 10 hours til my guests arrive. I m cooking fiest and theyre bringing goods; its girls slumber party. Gonna get us some horror and wear sexy underpants.

Haha I am so hungover today. The night ended with me being pushed into a shower with my clothes on. And I sat there for a while too! Laughing til all my make up was gone. Also lost one of my ear plugs :(

Well I have now showered, again. Put my face & party skirt on. But still.. so hungover. Going to the movies now (gonna have 2 litres of soft drink) then pre-drinks (2 litres of vodka?) then club! Saturdays are hard, mayn!

Backstreet boys-Nick has been watchin too much top model.

OFCOURSE! It was meant to happen sooner or later. Ive gotsa cold!

So I had to work through the fever. Luckily I enjoy workin at events like these, so with my motivation + gettin doped up on paracetamol and a serious abuse of coffee I managed! My legs last dying wish are to be cut off. Haha, the day before the event started I randomly decided to go hardcore on my old jumping rope. Mad muscle soreness from that with standing up forever AND that feverish muscle ache omg lol. But all in all, its been a good weekend. I know ALOT bout booze, mmkay.

Well, youll find me in bed watching shit on the computer for a while now. And that reminds me! Who wants to watch old All Dogs Go To Heaven with me? We can cry together and Ill cook suitable feast (not dog)! Just thinking about it tickles my tear canals! Iiih!

So Linda cut my hair yesterday! I look very homosexual as usual after a haircut, just my style. It worked out really well for me seeing how I later that night went to a queer bar for tunes played by Daniel, white wine with friends and lesbians playing ping-pong.

Roslagsbanan to the city. Ive wasted a lifetime on that train.

Gettin trimmed

After fuckin around alone in the city for hours I went to Theresia and Daniels studio appartment. Mimmi brought libanese and Theresia fed us with a glass or two of delicious red.

Me and Ronne are finally reunited <3 Oh, and  you can see my new do! Less yelow, more cold blonde and new fringe. Nice yes.

And also.. I am embaressed to admit that I had trouble sleeping last night; thinking about Paranormal Activity. So its settled, I will not see this movie until Stuarts arrival (I deserve some slack here.. I sleep very alone in a big ass room in the basement that makes alot of noices from pipes and whatnots in a massive bed). Kept on thinking about that scen when u see something crawl up under the sheets iiiiiih. Things are happening to me, where have my balls of steel gone? Miss you guys!

Thinking I was superwoman, not effected by the time difference and totally able to party hard and not sleep AGAIN did not work out well for me.

After I came home from Mimmi & Hannes I felt extremely dizzy, alot like a boat simulation. So I laid down on the couch and rested til the family dinner was ready. When that time came I felt tired, nacious, drunk, hungover and dying. So dizzy. We had chips and champagne. Then I excused myself and went to the bathroom where I munted! What is the deal with my vomiting? I dont like this new gained ability at all. Well so I had to pass family tacos and went down to my room for a twelve hour nap. Not jetlaged my ass :(

I feel pretty good today though *fingers crossed itll stay that way* Look how beautiful and humongous this pizza was before it got introduced to Moms toilet.

Here we aslo call vomit ‘pizza’ . And that is why munting after pizza is extra speical.

In advance I might need to appologize for this post, I feel a bit.. unorganised. In the head so to speak.

My flight was l o o n g and lonely. First I had to sit next to a fat man with gross breath, couldnt sleep even though I strategically drank two little bottles of wine, watched Young Victoria but all the love and zappniess just meda me wanna cry. Uncool.

When I boarded my flight from Singapore to London I took one painkiller, 2 1/5 sleeping pills + one natural sleeping pill, put on my neckpillow, took my shoes off, had ear plugs, one of those eyecover thinigies on and blankets. I “slept” for nine hours, constantly waking up from 1) my ear plugs falling out 2) the people sitting next to me CLIMINBING over me. jeez im not THAT tiny, please 3) my knee hurting like HELL. Somethings up with my knee. Uncool. The guy sitting next to me was also a plastic surgeon lookin through before and after shots on his mac. Boobjobs and liposuctions mixed with vacations photos with his kids.

Then London was ofcourse easy peasy, TWO hour flight. Its like a vacation. Why is not my favourite city a two hours flight away instead of a 30 hour one?

Part1.

Its my last shift at Locanda as a bartender. Its a really busy night, one of the bartenders has called in sick.

A customer wants a bottle of wine that we store in our a freezing room at the back. I run ofcourse, searching eagerly for this bottle I have never seen or heard of. The room is steep and where I actually find this bottle of pinot gris my customer wants to consume is in the end of the room where I basically have to crunch and semi-crawl to reach.

I grab it and start rushing back. Not looking before I sprint and slam my head VERY hard into a sprinkler. It hurts like fuck! So much that I actually scream FUCK to myself in there. I take a deep breath, toughen up and head to the bar. Walking through the kitchen I touch my loose tied up fringe n try to sort it out again after messing it up. And thats when I first start suspecting somethings wrong. Light tint of pink on my hand?

I get half way through the restaurant when blood start running down my face. Uh-oh. Tis not lookin goood. I run back into the kitchen to head for the bathrooms, tryin to not make a scene seeing how we are really busy and its probably just a scratch. But they see me running trying to cover my face, blood streaming down, dripping down my cleavage, colouring my white shirt red. Very bartender goes corpse bride!

Unfortunately and luckily they catch me, sit me down and stop the bleeding. After tryin to get me to the hospital and send me home, we establish that Im actually quite alright. *trooper* It was hysteric! Haha! It was pretty much just a wound, shit just bleeds ALOT when you hurt your head! I shampooed my redish hair, changed my shirt and sat down in the staff room, giggling to myself, then finished the remaining hours of my last shift.

Part2.

AND laaater that night I cruise down to Croft for a celebratory drink, they got good djs on and Ive just finished my last shift at work, so I get a bit tipsy.

And I have a cigarette on the balcony with Taryn. This UK guy comes up and shares the cigarette moment with us. We talk about how amazing Melbourne is and why you shouldn’t eat tuna fish.All the sudden he picks up a cord less mic and starts.. mc:ing. Very casually, im a bit confused. Does he bring a mic everywhere to emphasis his profession? At this point I am totally unaware that im talking to like a really good and known mc (Lowqui!). He explains that he’s currently mc:ing for the dj playing downstairs.

Soooo, I think it would be an amazing idea for me to drop some lines too, but all I say (read GIGGLE) is: poo. I said poo. In the microphone. Everyone can hear. THEN! Then I feel like I need to redeem myself so I say: tp for my bunghole. COMMON! I mean thats not even funny! Or cute! Haha. At the end of the gig I get kudos. Hanna from Sweden! Proudest moment of my life.

The party planning committee has been busy today. We’ve cleaned up the backyard, put up the lights, bought slabs of beer and cupcakes ingredients so the cupcake making is on!

Arranged some seats!

Dj-both!

Super-umbrella!

Kjutietajm..

Haha, omg I cant let this whole munting thing go. Seriously I NEVER do that. I thought since Ive got the day off and not really anything to do but watch old South Park eps, drink my pepsi and browse the world wide web I could take the time to let you know about my munting history!

The first time my bowls decided to revolt on me in a drinking related matter was new years eve, probably 2005-2006. I was a girl on the beer. Strictly beer in the belly. But since it was new years I though Id spice it up and treat myself with something like 8 Bacardi Breezers. All that rum and sugar started up a circus inside me. I did ofcourse go mental, cried for hours about who knows and when I woke up my eyes were so swollen I couldnt open them. And I felt sick! So I had to crawl, grabbing the walls, trying to lead myself to the bathroom where I spewed up thos fuckin watermelon and lemon breezers. UH! It was rough. Surviving  that horrible incident probably made me the tough cunt I am today.

And the second, and former last, time I spewed was at a music festival in the woods of Sweden. If my memories arent fabricated I was with Linda, Hannes + random chick playing dare. And someone, pretty sure it was Hannes, dared me to spew. A very hard task for me since I had only done it once before and I did feel like S.H.I.T then as in comparison to my then very happy, sunny, tipsy state. So I did what anyone would have done, fingers down the throat. Nathin. The other players had there go. Nathin. I decided to let random people have their go, so I sat down on a trail and asked passing dudes and dudettes to give me hand. Down the throat. And while this young man was giving his go I realised that the trail I was sitting on came from all the portable toilets. Now, most guys go number one in the woods ofcourse seeing how these portable toilets are pretty godamn awful, so when you do see a male in line you can assume hes going number two. And the problem with this I might add is the absence of water taps to wash your hands. Meaning his hand went straight from his anus to my mouth.  And thats when it happened. Mission accomplished.

It seems I am absolutely unable to not stay out all day, all night and all morning when Im suppose to get my booze on. Me, Eursula and Lora came back to ours 7am Sunday morning, still not goin to bed.. So I was pretty much in party mode for 30 hours. LUCKILY I didnt have to work Sunday, haha. This is how I looked:

..In my robe/naked all day consuming about three litres of juice, chocolates and a massive vegetarian pizza that took me about 6 hours to finish. I like hot & fresh pizza just as much as I like cold & stale pizza. Specially if your previously cold & fizzy Coke’s gone flat & room temperatured. I felt like such a Ninja Turtle sitting there with my massive pizza box, occasionally grabbing a piece. Looking cool. Talking about crime n stuff.

I have really interesting weeks patterns.. On weekends I do EVERYTHING! Work, party, shop, shit n all that jazz. Too much! And it usually results with me acting dead sea cow in bed all day loong when Sunday hits me.

But this time, still being sick, after working ten hours, going out for five and after the after party; me and Eursula didnt quite feel like it was nappy time just yet. So we set up the fold out couch, cuddled up with a blankets n pillows and began a movie marathon. And thats what Ive been doing 11am this morning til about now. Meaning I have been awake for 35 hours. And still counting. Well, its obvious that I is machine.

And ill be back.

Ok, so I got mad craving for silly fantasy movie. Thought of one I really wanted to see that I remember pretty well. But all the sudden.. my brain freezes. I do not remember the title. So I decide to imbd-search actor/actresses name, there are quite a few known names, but I dont remember! I can see there faces in my head. Blank. Fuck. I panic.

I start thinkin of this particular woman, whats she in…? Hmm, that kinda creepy thriller movie from the early 2000.. Whats the name of it? Any other ones? No! Darnit! But then I remember her acting buddy in the movie, Harrisson Ford!

I imdb-search Harrisson Ford.. browse for something that looks familiar (the movie Im looking for has of course a different title in Sweden, they like to rename our movies there, sure the directors love that just as much as the rest of the population of Sweden). Anywhooo: amongst all the shit his done including heaps of small guest appearances, I if find it! The movie is called What Lies Beneath! And there she is, in the cast list; Michelle Pfieffer! How could I even forget that? And the movie this epic search was for is… *dramatic drums*

*StartDuSt*

With beautiful Michelle Pfieffer, Robert De Niro, Sienna Miller, Clarie Danes and random unicorn. How could I forget!? Yes, this sounds pretty amazing to me for this later tuesday night like this. *on a mission*

..watch out for Milky!

Uh, been such a hormonal freak lately! Before hand; id like to warn sensitive readers, lady over-sharing ahead, mmkay?

So I have one of those inserts, a birth control stick under the skin. It sits there for three years, liberating me from pregnancy and menstruation. All for 32.90 dollars. We like to think of it as a pretty good deal. I just swapped mine the other week (as you can see a few posts back, hehe, eh) and with the old one running low and new kickin in, ive been a wreck! Things in general are quite unstable at the moment; but this whole thing upon it has just been a very unwanted icing on the cake, man.

Going to work Saturday night I was on the verge of tears my entire shift. Took everything so damn personal and just thought everyone was out to get me. Then Sunday morning Im like fuck yeah! Sun is up, pay is good, I look amazing.. what shall I cook for dinner?

And today I was stressing heaps to get to the doctor in time (I fuckin took a cab!), get the stitch removed. I waited 45 minutes. It took 2 minutes to remove it. That annoyed me. It starts to rain, I get wet. No one is free to do things with me and I am staaarving. I want to lay down on the wet pavement and like; fuck the world. Fuck my life.

But theeeeen I jump into mag nation to take shelter from the rain and I find the PERFECT present!! I buy it. Walk down the street, pop into a clothing shop. I spot the perfect skirt! I spot a dress Ive been holding like FIVE times but been like uh, to pricey. Its ON SALE! Then I find another PERFECT present! Same shop! Also on sale! Before all this I randomly buy a book, which I read on the tram home; turns out to be pretty fuckin rad. By the time I get off my tram, the rain has stopped. I pick up some paneer from the local Indian shop and make myself the best fuckin curry soup. On top of the world, baby!

Niggah. Im ill.

So the new job’s great, Im pleased! Like Im rather far from perfect at it now, but pretty dedicated to become sweet as in the very near future.. just you wait! And I’ve got mad spending withdrawals so Im definitely looking forward to mr paycheck. Materialistic shit and delicious dinners here I cooome.

Gotsa save some dineros as well though (lycky that my rent cheaper than a night on the town) cause Im visiting Sweden soon. Yeup! Visa’s running up and it’ll take me few weeks til Im aloud to exist in Australia again. Bullies! But it’s gonna be great anyway, seeing my beloved family and friends, have some Swedish cuisine, freeze my ass off and other cool Swedish stuff. By that time it’s been a year since I had my feet on ms motherland. 12 months. 365 1/4 days. Exciting!

Other exciting news; just saw District 9 and oh yes. That was one dope ass movie. Subtlety similiar to his older work. So gory and yet so political. Two thumbs up, brotha man.

Anyway, gonna have a tea and cigarette with Stuart now and watch some more sci fi (totally in the zone) And True Blood’s comin out tomorrow. How good is that show? I know it sounds gay, but that show rocks my world!

This is a formal apology to everyone who met me last night.